Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

Sexual Intimacy: 
The topic of sexually intimacy can sometimes be awkward to talk about or even teach about in a class, but I feel that my teacher helped explain things very well without it being uncomfortable so I just wanted to touch on some of the things we talked about this past week. He first drew a diagram that had sex on one side and emotionally close on the other. He told us that males and females operate differently - males have intercourse to feel more emotionally close to their wife but when females feel emotionally close to their husbands then they will have intercourse. Also, on average the more often women make love the more often they will want it (and visa versa if they don't have it very often they wont want it), but men on the other hand can go awhile without it and then all of a sudden have an urgency for it. This may cause a lot of conflict in marriages. Then how do we solve this problem so marriages will still continue to function properly? One of the biggest things I have realized is that each spouse has to give and take. They each need to be aware of their spouses needs and sometimes might need to give into those needs even if you are not up to it. Marriage is all about being selfless!

Brother Williams also shared this scripture from the New Testament:

1 Cor. 7:1-7:

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: ^aIt isgood for a man not to touch a woman.

 2 Nevertheless, ^ato avoid ^bfornication, let every man have his own^cwife, and let every woman have her own husband.

 3 Let the ^ahusband render unto the ^bwife due ^cbenevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

 5 ^aDefraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that ^bSatan ^ctempt you not for your incontinency.

 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his ^aproper ^bgift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

Through looking up the footnotes and the JST you will be able to understand more of what is being talked about. For example in verse 3 it says "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise the wife to the husband." Well what does the word benevolence mean? It means extreme generosity. So husbands and wives should render to each other due to extreme generosity. Each spouse needs to be generous in all aspects of marriage and specifically to sexual intimacy, as stated above.

Family Life:
When you get married you should turn to your spouse for everything! Don't go to friends or family members when problems arise, talk to your spouse! Communication is key in marriage.

When you get married, or even while you are engaged, make sure you establish rules. For example, don't ride in the car by yourself with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse. Satan is real and wants to destroy the family and he will do all in his power to do that. In Brother Williams words "stay away from the slippery slope!" When you get involved in activities or other things that could chip away your marriage you are standing on the slippery slope and it's hard to climb back up. There is a pattern that can be found in how we are found on that slope, it is through 1. opportunity, 2. incentive, and 3. rationalization. Once the opportunity arises and you take it thinking it wont hurt anything soon you become incentive to it and then start rationalizing.  It's better to just stay away from that slippery slope then to try and balance on it.

Lastly, we talked about how to teach your children about sexual topics. There was a news article that came out by the New York Times regarding the new policy of sex education in the public schools in New York. Here is the link if you would like to read it: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/10/nyregion/in-new-york-city-a-new-mandate-on-sex-education.html. It is disturbing to me that children are being taught so young about sex. Sexual intercourse is a sacred thing that needs to be taught by parents. It is important to talk to your spouse about how your children will be exposed to this education and to be on the same page with it. Raising a family in this world today is getting more difficult and your guard will need to be up. Talk to your children about this at an appropriate age with the correct importance. Also make it comfortable for your children to come to you if they have any questions, don't make it awkward because they will then turn to their friends to find out. Read "Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments" by Jeffrey R. Holland and "A Parent Guide" on lds.org to know how to appropriately teach your children these concepts.

Marriage and family is an exciting time, but it is important to communicate with your spouse so you can each meet the needs of each other and then can be on the same page as you raise your family.