Transitions in Marriage

"A wedding is just a day, marriage is for eternity. Make sure when you are preparing for a wedding you are focused more on the importance of your marriage then the lavishness of the wedding." - This was said by a member of my family relations

This week in my Family Relations class we talked about the transition into marriage. One thing that my professor talked about was how critical that first year of marriage is on a couple because the patterns, boundaries, and rules they create within that first year will exemplify the rest of their marriage. It's important to start out your marriage strong and to communicate before you get married what expectations you have. Make sure both of you are on the same page and it will make things easier. One thing that you should do is determine the tasks for after the wedding. What your foundation will be and how you will handle different situations.

Things to discuss and tasks to take care of after the wedding:

• Roles, rules, and expectations
• Finances, time (your time is as much as your spouse's time as it is yours, becoming one) and resources
• How to handle disagreements
• Conflict theory
• clarity
• express empathy
• validate your spouse
• don't be rushed, it is all about timing
• pray before critizing
• when talking about the conflict be clear and precise
• Ephesians 4:26-32
• 26. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
• 27. Neither give place to the devil.
• 28. Let him that stole steal no more; but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
• 29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister graces unto the hearers.
• 30. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
• 31. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
• 32. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

As you develop this pattern of putting away all anger and malice and having the spirit to edify and build each other, God will dwell in your homes and be a strength in your marriage and in your future family. It is important to develop this pattern of love between you and your spouse early on in your marriage and to learn how to overcome conflict with the Spirit so when you start your family this pattern is already set in place.

For further advice on transitioning to marriage especially once you start having children here is a powerpoint discussing how you can keep that love and admiration between your spouse and you while adding children into your life: Avoiding the Baby Blues.pptx